CELEBRATED TRUE LIFE STORIES I DONT WANT TO TELL ANYMORE

the time i was expelled from the entire harvard dormitory system
the time i crossed the francospanish border with one hundred and twentyfive            thousand dollars
the time i went two hundred miles out of my way and didnt get laid in
           beautiful bavaria
the time i stayed high three days on two very weird fourteenth street joints
the time i drew a chess game with bobby fischer i should have won
the time i insisted on being photographed outside trotskys house in coyoacan
the time in vienna i picked up my birth certificate and two nice whores
the time i ate so much dexedrine i suddenly appreciated chaucer
the time i became a footnote in jack kerouacs biography
the time w h auden taught me what to look for in newspapers
           just weather forecasts and obituaries
the time i translate rilke in a coffeehouse dawn
the time i was arrested for rioting at the worlds fair
the time i saw jackie holding on to jay eff kays elegantly socked ankle
the time i saw simon barere die at the piano in carnegie hall
the snowy afternoon i made three thousand dollars in an hour
the time the communists kicked me out for defending shostakovich and
           prokofieff
the time i was an underground dealer in wilhelm reich paraphernalia
the time henry miller wrote me a nice letter that did me no good
the time one of my daughters called the cops on me for car theft
the times i walked out of my own barmitzvah and poetry reading
the time i was twentyseven i found out how i was born
the time gonorrhea cured my veedee neurosis
the night in monterrey mexico my body first began to die
the day my father was first too blind to see me
the night i swam drunk with Barbara and all the luminous jellyfish
the time i destroyed the original figaro coffeehouse in the village for money
the time i failed to make money as a male prostitute

the day my library of ten thousand books burned to its end
the time i was eight years old and threw broken glass at my best friend
the time i got a toothache so bad i stayed in therapy three years
the time tee ess eliot refused to accept my collect phone call
the time i was convicted of going awol by my high school science class
the time i got outraged and quit writing because someone preferred norman
           mailer
the time i paid jean paul sartre thirty bucks for a pretty good story
the time of new jersey group sex in my alfa romeo
the time i deducted my dogs hospital bill on my income tax
the time i broke a spoon in a chinese restaurant and kept the pieces
the time i slammed into all the mens room toilet walls on sixth avenue

and yesterday the time
when i locked myself
into my room and didnt come out

 

by Arthur Oesterreicher

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