when things dont work out
just the way you hoped
after you tried so very hard
but what if
after your imagined defeat
that really there never was
any chance of success whatsoever
that the white knight you dream yourself to be
never was anything but a white fool after all
then you arduously try
to drum up new resolutions
abstractly universal
but really just as unreal
as anything else dreamed up
by the old white fool
who doesn't begin to understand
that the catastrophes in your old history book
have grown with time into
the haunts of delusion
you may in confidence say
THAT WAS THEN
AND THIS IS NOW
why not take a quick look
at how you perpetuate past horrors
even if you think you dont want to
else tell me this
why do your hands and feet
tremble in pain so much
and save blind stupid objectivity
for your battalion of useless neurologists
who chant in chorus
the question you should ask yourself